Intelligence by emotions, your breakthrough to emotional health

You can think you perceive and understand your emotions well. But, do you really? Unfortunately, avoidance or overwhelm can represent the state of our relationship with our emotions all too often. This is the opposite of being in a state of peace and calm. It is self-management that makes room for functional habits that promote emotional health that lead you to feeling good and confident.

It will surprise you that so many of the best leaders display the skills and abilities of good self-management and relationship management. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is in many instances a bigger predictor of success than IQ or being book smart. In other words, in order to enjoy success and lead others, you must be able to lead yourself. The heart and mind can appear to be jungles that carry us captives if we do not have the tools to work in harmony with them. An improved mental health is one of the many benefits that you can enjoy when you apply EQ skills.

Emotional Intelligence is being present to your feelings

Managing your emotions speaks to having the daily awareness of your state of emotion and to have some influence over your relationships. It is developing the skills of being self-aware, being present to the ebbs and flows that take place at any given time. An awareness over our emotional ques or any shifts that take place can change the course of our actions. Think of an emotional que that is being ignored like a sink hole. Proper attention is the only way to adequately treat it otherwise it grows and destroys things that could have been saved. On the other hand when given attention, it is like opening a world of possibilities. When we read the emotional ques like a map or a recipe there are possibilities of arriving at a desired destination or with the perfect cake.

How to develop the skill of being present to emotions

A simple example of over processing can be going home after work and spending the entire trip home thinking about work. The email that you haven’t responded to, the meeting where you wished you had spoken more or that office mate you meant to brief. You can relive different moments and make judgements of yourself and others. You can wind up feeling underachieved or regretful. However, emotional intelligence can allow you to spend the same trip home with a different set of thoughts. Firstly, being present and aware of the sounds around you, your breath prepares you to slow down and connect with your feelings. Secondly, tune in to how you are feeling. Visit the different places in your body to check where those emotions are seated. Stomach, chest, back, hands or face. Spend a few minutes breathing attentions into those places. When thoughts invade your process just allow them to come and go without fixing your attention on them.

The goal of this technique is not to problem solve or build a solution. It is to tune in. Give attention to. Allow the unfolding of. Then, continue with your day. Reflection and problems solving can come later. That is a whole other article. But when you have felt and acknowledge the feeling, the battle is won. Emotional health is developed through awareness first.

There are many benefits to EI which include better health, being more alert and focused and having improved relationships with others. For now focus on this one skill and give us feedback on how you experience being present to your emotions.